Friday, February 2, 2007

Calling All Airheads


This weeks update is... oxygen. Yep, that's a can of oxygen for your breathing pleasure. No doubt, this particular product was inspired by classic Mel Brooks film, Spaceballs. Of course, the manufacturers failed to keep in mind that that was a comedy. A spoof, if you will. Not a focus group.

There are a few instances when I think that a canned oxygen supply is good idea. I have listed a few of these below:
  1. Being underwater: Sure, water is part oxygen, but not the good kind. Luckily, a host of specialized devices have been designed to provide you with oxygen while underwater (snorkel, SCUBA gear, submarine, etc.).
  2. Being at high altitudes: Air gets thinner. We all know it. No one would think of climbing a high mountain without a sturdy oxygen supply. Sturdy. That's important. You would go 12,000ft up with a tiny blue plastic oxygen bottle with ten minutes worth of air in it.
  3. Being in space: It's a lot like being at high altitudes, only it typically involves less gravity. Thankfully, in spite of all of the budget cuts at NASA, astronauts can still afford space suits and they don't have to brave the final frontier with nothing but a couple of cans of Oxia to stave off a choking blue death from suffocation.
So, as you can see, the uses for Oxia are fairly limited to, well, none. I could see portable oxygen catching on as a hip fashion accessory for the super-rich, though. I'm sure Paris Hilton doesn't want to breathe the same air as the rest of us. And, if Oxia could prevent us from having to inhale the exhalation that emanate from her petri dish of a body, then I'll buy her the first case.

2 comments:

Marianne said...

Use #4: Tricking kids with asthma.

Unknown said...

i'm still at a lost, but my ideal line would incorporate flatulent uncle and family meal involving chili somehow.